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Punchline to Planet X: Don't be a Selfish Redneck

Nobody Flashes:
You haven't lived until you've listened to the radio broadcast of Coast to Coast, with George Noory at night. I have learned the most amazing things on his program, and since I'm a bona-fide nighthawk, fluttering all my pop-junk well into the quiet night, I always have him on. And tonight, I heard this guy named Gordon Jones and I was...zapped.

By this: Look at this picture of the sun rising. See the "shape" next to the sun? Well, that, according to a man named Gordon Jones---that's the Planet X. And it's BIG. And it's...going to flip the earth in a polar shift, while traveling AWAY from us. And this will happen...oh....about 8 weeks from now, or sometime soon next year. (Hopefully before Obama's state of the union address)
 
India, will disappear, in a hour. The entire coast of California and South America will RISE...because the Teutonic plates underneath them will shove them up and make mountains. Same thing is going to happen in Australia, from the west. Tasmania will get much warmer.
 
The Madrid fault will go bananas. And Colorado will be the main military complex where all the big guys will go to survive, but DON'T go there unless you want to live under Nancy Pelosi..no he didn't say that, but, I bet she'll be there before anybody else and claim to be in charge.  
 
I was really getting into this. After all, it was the most exciting news since Prince Charles announced that Camilla was going to be Queen of England. (By the way, what if Charles dies, and she is left Queen? ) England will be all Muslims by 2060 anyway so we won't worry about them right now.
 
But, back to our future. Gordon had me in the palm of his mighty voice....at, "They aren't telling you anything, but they have known for years and that's why Glenn Beck is trying to prepare everyone for the future with canning. Canning food is the future. "
 
Okay, I've got that covered. Since I have trouble not burning water, I have to improvise. ( I mean, who wants to stand over a stove and watch water boil? Not me.) My neighbor just took my crab apple tree and made canned jelly. And Pattie, my old new best friend, told me today SHE can make corn bread, something that I am determined to do some day. Mona, my new best friend ( I will have a LOT of best friends in the future...) can cook anything that moves, including old trees, and everything is going to be moving....
 And ALL these ladies can "can" food, all we will need is...the food.
 
Good luck with that after the pole shift.
 
But...back to the future. Gordon kept talking and he had me already thinking: Maybe there is something to this....and then...

THE PUNCH LINE:
Living here among us are six billion cloned aliens. And they are in the oceans, and parallel universes, just READY to pop in when this happens. HARP is disguising their mother ships from us.
 
Oh.
 
What's so great about all this, is the ability of George Noory to interview some of these people with the utmost respect. He never laughs at them. Never. Truly...who could interview some guy saying things like...

George: "What percent of ET's are not nice?"
 
Gordon: "Weill, about 90 percent are not selfish, and 10 percent are selfish."
 
Six billion people are not selfish? That's nice to know. You see their planet was destroyed by sex and emotion. (I know, I know) So they came here looking for a home, and they decided they had it wrong...they should have just had greater sex and greater emotion.
 
Oh....that's great news for Tiger Woods.

Nobody Flashes Update
: D.C. will be a volcano. Watch the ashes. And North Carolina will be in trouble because of the selfishness and FIREPOWER of the people. He actually said that. Never mind the earth flipping on its polar head, it's those hillbillies you have to watch out for!
 
I might have to move there.
 
Now. Let's get serious. After this pole shift, the tip of Brazil will be the new North Pole, so I figure Missouri is going to have the weather of Costa Rica.
 
I'm getting pretty excited about this.
 
And Gordon's main philosophy is the same as Glenn Beck. "Don't be selfish with your canned food" .... or the aliens will not like it.
 
Glenn Beck is gathering food for himself. Really. He has millions of dollars, and he is afraid of being without food? Mmmmmmm.
 
So, if you see the skies getting dark, and look up and see a another planet in the sky as big as the moon... I suggest: lots of beer. And give one to the man from Planet X...to show you're not a selfish human, he might just let you live. That's the card to get into their new world.
 
Rednecks are not allowed, but there will be a body scan.
 
I've given this a lot of thought tonight...what WILL be my place in this new alien- polar- shifted- canning world?
 
 I'll boil the water.
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