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Nobody Gets E-Mail: Taxable Tatoos

Nobody Gets E-Mail:
 
It's Saturday night! And upon hearing that our Senate was going to pass the biggest TAX hike in the history of the world with its "Universal Health Care" package, on a weekend before Thanksgiving when everyone is just too busy to pay attention---(so they passed it)--- I thought this fit nicely for all of us who are wondering just what will happen next time we go to the doctor...
 
If you didn't get this e-mail, then you missed some fine pictures!
 
Here we see Lenny and Squiggy, who realized that if they could tax botox, they will tax tatoos. In fact, just about anything that breathes will be taxed. So, tonight, they went out and got the works.
 
Anyway, here's some thoughts from me, if these guys were here, I'd like to ask them these questions;
 
Feel free to make up your own.

Number one: Would anyone in their right minds even KISS
these guys?

Number two: Can he pull those knives out and cut his pork chops?

Number three: "Are those just bumps on your head, or are you just
glad to see me?"

Number four: What happens with cell phone reception?

Number five: Do you think you deserve "free" mental health care
and do you think I should pay for it? Is THAT the plan?

Number six: Did you plan to call your congressmen and tell them you
have found their missing children?

Number seven: If I say that "you're really ugly" will I be arrested for
a hate crime?

Number eight: Have recent news events got you down too?

Number nine: Can you drink and drive without being pulled over?
And if you get in a car accident, will your nose be cut off? Or are those knives to get you out of your seatbelt?

And Number ten: On behalf of all American Citizens,
would you give the Speaker of the
House, Nancy Pelosi, a visit on ourbehalf? Say around...midnight?

Hey, everyone have a nice weekend!

Wait, one more: Can I fry an egg in your earlobe?
Does your neck have real teeth? (somebody stop me!)
Did it dawn on you...that plaid is just not your color?
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Sarah Jumps on Oprah's Couch and SCORES!

Nobody’s Fool: Poor, poor Oprah. The richest women in America bet the farm on Obama and his shining star, and it’s cost her. When Obama’s real intentions and motives on the “change” that he envisioned for America, exposed him as the Marxist, racist that he is---and his crimes were exposed by Glenn Beck, who is on at the same time as Oprah, her viewership plummeted faster than Mr. Dole’s lost Viagra. (Let’s add that Bob Dole really didn’t need Viagra. I can’t see him getting off any couch, can you?)
Yet, while everyone is making fun of Glenn Beck’s weight (which by the way looks pretty normal to me) NOBODY has said a word about MS Oprah’s head shots. The camera never goes off her pompom hairdo.
 
I don’t blame them.
 
Now she says, she is just going to pick up her vast fortunes, quit her show, and move out of the coldest place on the earth. You go girl!
 
She was very snotty the other day, talking about her retirement. Saying that weeeeell, she was just not into the daily grind anymore of the show, especially when she HAD to interview people she didn’t want to interview. “God, do I have to do that boring person?”
 
Obviously referring to the very successful interview of Sarah Palin…but… HELLLOOOOO? Oprah?
 
I thought the whole station: the show, the content, the format, the money, the company, was controlled by YOU? You are the boss; you can choose who you interview or who you don’t---right? Either it’s a lie, and your PR is just a Disney tale in Goofy land--and it’s really NOT you holding the strings, or you’re just trying to butter up your feminist base---which is it?
 
The other richest woman in the United States, Martha Stewart, went even further to express her “hatred” of the new girl in town. She called Sarah, “dangerous” and did NOT hide her very condescending opinion of her.
 
What? Is Martha scared Sarah is going to send Ms. Stewart back to jail?
 
Well, gee Martha. I don’t like you trying to cover the planet in pastels, either, but I don’t go around calling you prison-rat bait, do I?
 
Go into any K-Mart and you see the most “boring” crap ever made on the planet. It’s pretty much like looking at baby food. You know---mush. Martha has tortured us quite enough with egg-shell, blue-green everything. You feel like you're walking through some giant Easter-basket, with marshmallow shoes. I bet she's helping to design the health-care package as we sleep. In every hospital there will be a "get well" drinking cup in puke green, at taxpayers expense. (sorry)
 
I suggest Martha Stewart styles in every jihadist jail cell, but that’s me.
 
Anyway, Oprah is the only Diva in the world who can make a major scandal out of---wait for it----wait for it----are you ready…? A man in love!!
 
When Tom Cruise announced that he was so in love that he jumped on Oprah’s couch with happiness, Oprah’s mouth was stretched as wide as a hippo yawing in her mud hole. She was so appalled at the very action! How horrible! A man in love!
 
And now she is losing it. She had a porn star on after Sarah, for ratings, or to insult Sarah, who knows? Oprah and the porn star fit together like Chocolate cake and Vanilla ice-cream. (Hey, it’s late.) Porn…good. Love? Bad. No wonder she doesn’t have any kids.
 
She also couldn’t believe the mind-blowing concept that Sarah Palin---just won’t admit what books she likes to read. And that made it the headline of the day around the world!
 
If I was Sarah I would have said, “Well I didn’t read about the author you endorsed…the one who killed three people, while making a fortune off them, and, fled the country? Have I got that right Oprah? Gee, I missed that one.”
 
Okay, I can say it, Sarah can’t. But I bet she was thinking it.
 
Oprah’s false “face” of sweetness though, stooped to new lows when she viciously asked Sarah, “Will he (Levi) be invited to Thanksgiving dinner?” (Meaning the boy who got her daughter pregnant and now has deserted his family and is posing for Playgirl.)
 
Yeah, Oprah cares so MUCH for the children….right. Sure.
 
When she asked that question I wanted to pluck out her eyebrows and pin them to her chubby cheeks.
 
Sarah did NOT fall for that mean trap. She said not a word against him. She was…invincible.
 
Oprah now sees the danger coming for Obama in 2012, and since NOBODY is watching her anymore, she will get on another cable program, probably in prime time, so that she can promote the global agenda, once again, and help Obama win another election--or so she thinks. By that time, she will be old Martha Stewart potatoes.
 
But, getting back to Sarah Palin. She is Nobody’s Fool. And the snobs on the Hills of our Wall Street/government complex see an enemy of the biggest kind…a woman who actually has LIVED the life of the common man and woman. She is not from Harvard. She is not from a Royal Clinton/Bush/ family. So far, she has shown remarkable common sense, and she will represent “the people,” and she said so.
 
So, while our powerful elite thugs are trying desperately to shape the world into their one world government/multinational corporation communistic FUBAR future, by building schools to train future global unelected dictators as fast as they can--- Sarah could slash their dreams with one stroke of her very pretty, hockey mom, lipstick.
 
And wouldn’t that be a sweet victory? You bet.
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