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Bin Laden...Look in the Mercedes

 







Nobody Cares:
The Muslims
 
They hate us. They attacked us. They also have most of our money...and here's a bit of trivia they don't want us to really think about. They have something in common with the average all-American redneck... They LOVE to race cars. Expensive ones.
 
It's a real problem in Dubai. All the teenage boys go drag racing down the streets of Dubai, every single night (something which is not allowed in America any more) and they're not driving Ford pickups.
 
No, those 16-year-olds get Lamborghini's for their birthdays...are you kidding?
 
Some of them get more than one. They have to do something while waiting for all those virgins.
 
And while most of us are hearing daily that no one can find Osama bin Laden...because he is living in a cave...plugged up to Michael Jackson's old kidney machine...THINK AGAIN! That man has serious money.
He also has Addison Disease! Are you kidding? (As did John Kennedy.) He couldn't even walk to the cave. Do you really think he is suffering in some cave?
 
No..he is relaxing right this minute in his favorite Mercedes Van office...where he can monitor all his vast terror cells right from the comfort of his lounge chair. He can also make bets on the races, camels or cars, or the Kentucky Derby. He can e-mail Soros and Obama at the same time!
 
According to one of his wives, Osama used to love to come to the Indy races here in good old USA. (Who knew?) And his favorite car was a Mercedes. (So was my dad's, but the closest he got to one of those was walking past one on the golf course to get to the first tie.) Do you really think he wouldn't want to drive his gold Mercedes once in a while?
 
Is Nancy Pelosi still delusional?
 
Well, check out the picture. Big plans are being made to build a Ferrari park, right there in Saudi Arabia.
Forget Disney World. This will have Ferrari roller coasters, Ferrari furniture, and most likely, lots of camel boys parking multi-million dollar cars...and between the car races, the camels will run.
 
The Sheiks will be able to party all night long. Wives will not be allowed, but I'm sure there WILL be tents full of....well, lets just say, they are as decadent as the West when it comes to all our other sports.
 
Like everywhere else in the world---if you got money, you can do what you want.
 
It will not be built in Dubai, but in some other desert town, (Like Aubia, or mubai, or gobai, or zoobai, or buynbuybluebai) No...it's being built in some nearby town in order to compete with Dubai...which proves that even Sheiks like competition. They are tired of racing camels. Obama is just not giving them much fun right now.
 
Maybe we should be sending over our best mechanics...
 
Wait, we are? Oh.
(Like the politicians, Nobody makes SOME of this up...but the Park, the cars---and the American mechanics...they are real. )

UPDATE
: Surprise!
 
The Yankees have just won the World Series AGAIN! They are going to Ferrari World! They are buying houses in Dubai, complete with solar panels and big huge swimming pools!
 
They are taking Kate Hutson tonight to party, and she is bringing a one of a kind, never seen before anywhere in the world before...p
...
(blogger falls asleep due to suffering from Addison's disease)
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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The Marines, Al Gore, and Sawing Teeth

Nobody Knows just how pitifully sorry I was feeling for myself after I saw my dentist today. And nobody knows; that when it comes to suffering, it's all relative.
The good news? My year of relentless flossing, brushing, water picking, and scraping of my poor gums and teeth every night has paid off. No new cavities...in the teeth I can reach.
 
The bad news: The dentist found one cavity...just one. But it was IN THE LAST MOLAR in the back...underneath a bridge, that this VERY SAME DENTIST had put on when I was just twenty-years old, and he did not recognized me, or his own work! (I cannot reach this tooth, no one can.)
 
I mean, how could you forget those you have tortured like that? I don't know how he could forget me. Really. I always had my best tennis shoes on.
 
The only way to fix the tooth is to saw off the bridge, which is cemented to two very fine teeth, and jawbone, that I am really very fond of. I imagine, by the look on his face, it will probably be done with some huge machine right out of the Soprano's...
 
Yes..saw off the bridge, put in a "fake" bridge for me to use for two weeks, and then come back for the final day of pain, and the new bridge which will probably decay again before I die.
 
This will cost so much, they are delaying having to tell me the "price" for two weeks.
 
I'm going to need novacane before I hear it.
 
(And speaking of decay, Al Gore just walked onto the set of David Letterman)
 
Tonight I saw this picture of the Baker Company...one of the last Marines left in Iraq...who are waiting the commander-in chiefs orders, which is coming right after his next round of golf...or maybe not.
 
Really...I look at this picture and, after realizing that I am not sitting in that miserable muck, in Iraq, away from my home----I am SO lucky to just be looking forward to getting my tooth fix.
 
I will have a nice warm bed to go home and feel sorry for myself in.
 
On the other hand, if these guys had to listen to Al Gore as much as we do.. they might think I've got the worst of it..
 
Wait---Al says we are putting 90 million tons of carbon..into the air every day! And he says sea shells are in trouble! And he is going to be a carbon billionaire, who wears blush and lipstick! ( I swear he has makeup on.)
 
BUT... David thinks it's a small price to pay if we are going to save the planet...
 
Okay...this is getting hard to handle...I'm picturing...Al Gore, sitting in this mud hole, with the Marines, in Iraq, and he has a painful tooth ache, and his backpack solar panels are not working due to rain, so he is shivering, and the Marines are eating lots of beans and steak, and giving him...beans and prune juice..
 
And telling him they are going to PULL that bad tooth, with some pliers...for the planet's sake.
 
And they actaully do, because...they're just good guys.
 
Hey...god bless imagination...and god bless the Marines!  
 
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