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Name: Joyanna Adams
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EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Thursday, October 29, 2009 11:57:39 PM
Nobody Wins when our capital is overrun with a giant monster of cockroach proportions.
 
This happened this morning, on the very steps of our great Capitol, and there was just no stopping the big threat to the city.
 
It seems that Orkin,(Bug guys) went out of business, because they were 1. just the right size to fail, and 2. had never worked for Goldman Sachs...thereby not getting any stimulus money from Barney Frank, and that's the reason this horrible event happened.
 
Once again, we repeat; As we see from these pictures, this "huge" bug came out and appeared on the steps of our Capital in Washington D.C. today. The press was not allowed anywhere near the dangerous creature, even though it actually talked and said foul things no one believed or understood. And Orkin was no where to be found, as we have already explained.
 
The people and press were kept behind ropes for their own protection. Someone actually saw Michael Moore running down the street. (Okay, so he saw a hot dog cart.)
 
But it was reported, (by some nobody unrelated to me) that heard above that horrible gigantic bugspeaker's squeeky voice, (who somehow got to a microphone and who some said went by the name of Nancy) was the repeated chant:

EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!   EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!
 
So far tonight...because the Daleks were needed back in London, Orkin has been given a quick loan from the Fox News Channel.
 
Hopefully, this won't happen again.

(Nobody makes this stuff up...except for the part where I said Orkin was out of business. Everyone knows that Orkin, which produces many poisonous chemicals that can destroy man, women, children, dogs, cats, bugs, plants, and tea party people, will always be...too big to fail!)
 
Can we all wake up now?
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Nobody Cares About Barbie-que

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Thursday, October 29, 2009 12:12:22 AM
Nobody Cares: Al Gore said recently that the world had only 40 days before it would be too late to save it from mass global destruction.
 
We also know that we have just a little over a month to save our Constitution, when Obama signs over our sovereignty to the United Nations forever.
 
Barbie has only a few minutes before Ken comes and saves her from the wicked trolls of environmental wackos who are mad at her for using too much energy.
 
Will she escape to get a new politically correct girlfriend another day?
Will the world end this year?
Will our current national 'emergency' continue until the next election?
Will the United States end with Obama?
Will the people of the world continue to bow down to tyrannical nut jobs?
Will they REALLY take away our hamburgers?
Will our next President be a transvestite?
Will Barney Frank ever stop being such a moron?
Will Brad Pitt stop driving motorcycles and take up roller skating?
Will the Yankees once again win the World Series, and is it really true that the Taliban hate Obama more than George W. Bush?  
 
Will Thomas Sowell decide that the only way to save our country is for him to give up his life, and run for President?
 
How the $%# should I know?
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Stimulating Nurses

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Wednesday, October 28, 2009 1:15:56 AM
Nobody Knows:

“Cen I speet to Peeellip please?” said the caller.
 
Okay, I answered my phone. I will answer any phone, unlike most of the population. This is a problem of many American women who are stuck at home, and are hoping for a call where someone says, “YOU HAVE JUST WON…$112 million dollars!” It’s an illness, and so far, no one has thought of a cure.
 
“Who---say that again?” I said.
 
Obviously, this was one of our new poor illegal immigrants trying desperately hard to communicate with one of those pesky Americans who are living unlawfully in their rightful country.

“Can I speak to Peeelllip?”
 
“Who? I can’t understand you…”
 
“Can I spee to Peeelipp?”
 
“There is no Phillip here.”

“Well, would chu lik to train to beeecum a nurse?” was her next question.
 
“No.” (I was wondering if a man named Phillip had picked up the phone, if she would have asked the same question.)

“Well, eeesss there enie-one dere who would lik du train du become a nurse, because we can TRAIN yu and yu familiiee?”
 
Oh…happy day!
 
My training days were over right after I flunked my first Philosophy Class in college because I told the teacher Socrates was ugly so that’s why he used his brain…(The old Rocky theory) but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
 
“No, no….and no…goodbye.”
 
After I hung up, I thought--- that’s a new one. Just ask for anyone and start right into your sales pitch. That poor Latino lady sounded so desperate. As if…if we didn’t get “nurses” right away, the whole country would die, and she then she really would have to go back to Mexico. She was told that desperation and flu is everywhere, along with a shortage of good churches to hide at, and do not worry…soon, the people would need professional help. And since the housing market collapse, lots of illegal’s lost jobs, and so more jobs are needed to fill the void, therefore…voila! We need nurses! Nurses can not only deliver babies, they can have lots of their own.
 
Maybe you have heard about the nurse shortage. It is so bad that plans have been made to put the illegal immigrant women to work as nurses, and train them to deliver babies outside of hospitals as soon as possible.
 
There is going to be a shortage of doctors soon after they pass the Public Option, so the next best thing to deal with the overload of sick people (because the lines will be long to see medical doctors) …is nurses. Give them the power to do everything but major surgery, and put them on the government payroll. All they will have to know is how to take a temperature, give a shot, take blood, prescribe antibiotics, deliver babies, and then the government will have a whole new working class of government workers. If you can’t speak English, don’t worry. All your computer entries will be in Spanish.
 
Sadly, the phone call left me…bored. So, I turned on C-Span. I love C-Span. And there she was…some really sweet looking grandmotherly lady on the floor of the Congress. She was a representative, from a Southern state, who was telling, dare I say it? The truth. In English!

Nobody Knows where they found this gem, or why she was even allowed to speak, but there she was…telling us about how AARP, was all for the Universal Health Care system, because they would make billions off their supplemental insurance programs which people would be running and tripping over to GET in order to cover all the monumental costs of hospitals, once the Government Health Care program kicked in--- because as everyone knows, no government medical program is going to pay…much…or close to nothing because our government is broke, and will be until they can get some aliens from another planet to “fix” it. And no doubt these aliens will bring what we are going to need…lots of nurses.
 
And more hairspray for our newscasters.
 
So, that’s the plan. We need to invent more “service” jobs, because in Universal Health Care, a whole slew of government “nurses” will be hired so “President” Obama can say the stimulus is working.
 
Soon, we will be so overloaded with nurses; they will be waiting for us in our local drugstores, Wal-Marts, schools, and grocery shopping markets! Wait…that’s already happening? (It's already in place...see?)
 
Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m here to tell you. The reason no one in Congress will ever admit in a million years to reading the Health Care Plan is because they don’t want to be held accountable when the mob comes to their houses.
 
 “Hey, that was slipped in after midnight! I was in Kabul being shot at! I had NO idea; I didn’t have time to read it!”
 
Someday, I just know it. I’m going to answer the phone and some recorded message will say: “COMRADE…you must report to your local city hall and sign up to volunteer to be a nurse for a year if you are not currently working, or ill, or else pay a fine of….” AT that point, I will hang up, and no longer answer my phone. So, they will have to come to my door, and I will say I am an alien, I have a deadly virus contacted on Mars, and my name is Peelip. I died in 1969, and now, I'm a zombie who cannot be around humans.

And if you don't believe me...just ask my husband, then go away.

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