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The BIG BLACK PUMPKIN!

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Saturday, October 31, 2009 1:20:41 AM
Nobody Flashes:
A Bedtime story on Halloween:
 
As many of you know, I love a good conspiracy theory, and there is no better time to have fun and make one up than on Halloween! Besides, I couldn't get away with this any other day of the year.
And so, while I was walking under a full moon...I thought of one of my favorite.

It goes like this:
 
Long ago, the great Cassius Clay, a black man who was so funny he could make Howard Cosell, a white man not known for his comedic delivery, his best friend, became the boxing champion of the world.
 
Around that same time in America, another black man named Malcolm X became a Muslim, and made a disciple of Cassius, who became such a great follower of the Islamic traditions that he changed his name to Mohammad Ali...and gave the Muslims loads of money, much like the Scientologists do, but---pretend I didn't say that.
 
Actually, Cassius changed his name to Mohammad the morning he opened up his draft notice, but that's another blog.
 
It's very important we get the facts as they tell us, and so the movie ALI was put out with much rewriting ..and good thing too...because soon we will be having a lot of black men and women becoming the new Ameircorp journalists, and then all know the "facts" will be rewritten properly.

Anyway, (seehz) the brotherhood of Muslims, who merged with the black nationalists, made so much money off of that famous Ali, they conned him into going to Africa to fight in the biggest stadium full of Muslims in the world. Which he did.
 
And then, they got rich, and he went on to sell hamburger grills.
 
Wait---that was the other guy.
 
No, he actually became brain damaged which was understandable, because Foreman's (Better know as George, father of a nation of George's) arms were the size of Paul Bunyan's legs...but that's another blog.
 
Because those black Muslims made so much money off of Ali, they decided to recruit more of those famous black men. Which they did.
 
I mean, it's not like they had OIL wells.
 
They recruited to their cause, a very rich pop star named Michael Jackson. He became a Muslim, and even went to live in many palaces of Saudi Arabia...right after he had been arrested for molesting a boy. Actually---make that more than one. The timing was perfect.
 
When he came back, to the United States, he had big burly Muslims of the brotherhood surrounding and protecting him, even when he wore his pajamas to all his court dates---that's how safe they made Michael feel.
 
One day, right at a very crucial time in the newly elected black Obama as President, a very important argument was being raged on Capitol Hill. The whole country was upset...and then, suddenly.Michael died! In fact, his Muslim Doctor killed him. Everyone said so.
 
But no one really cared too much because we were all too busy dancing around to songs we hadn't heard in twenty years. Most of us were happy just to be standing.
 
After Michael's funeral, the Muslim brotherhood went back to Chicago, a town they share with the Democrats, the Mafia, Oprah Winfrey, and some pretty ugly statues...a town where King Obama spent his days climbing the latter of political payoffs.
 
But, on that dreary dark night...the conspiracy of murder, was about to happen. A cell phone call, came---ring-"You got the Thriller, Thriller,"
 
"What's he saying...thrill her? I thought he was gay? Hello?"

"Doctor"

"This is he"

"Tonight...it has to be tonight...is he ready?"
 
"Yes, he'll never know"
 
The murder was perfect...the whole next two weeks was all about worshipping Michael Jackson, and it took the whole country's mind off of the evil empire in the White House, and what they were doing.
 
Yes, fingerless Rahm, the right hand man to King Obama, took advantage...of the death of a black man. It's the Chicago way. It's the Muslim way. It's also, among most News and cable channels...the American way.
And by the way, Rahm Emmanuel, better known as Dead Fish Manny...says he's Jewish...but he looks like a Muslim who got his finger cut off either by the mob, or by the Muslim brotherhood because he did not return Ali's glove to the great one. Which was filled, many say, with contraband African diamonds.
 
No, Rahm claims he was attacked by a taco...no one knows where the missing finger lies. Someone once said they saw it in a tossed salad, but it was never proven.
 
Still, there are rumors...that the dead Michael Jackson will get an Oscar for his performance in the upcoming movie..."This is it."
 
He does an excellent job of playing himself, and he deserves an Oscar about as much as King Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. Which is exactly why he will win it.
 
Then, they will give the Oscar to Michael's three white children, and they will cry in front of the whole world...onstage, and Janet will smash her breast into their faces...and one might even fall out.. and then Obama will come up on the screen, directly from the White House..and say...
 
"I did NOT kill that man...Michelle, I mean....Michael...he was a credit to the nation, and even though I still do not deserve the peace prize, if anyone deserves an Oscar it's me...I mean...Micheal."
 
Obama bin Laden...is ready...he is out there...hunting Geraldo...(I know, what does that have to do with the story?...you're right. Nothing.)
 
So, tell your children, warn them...to watch out...sometimes on Halloween night, when the moon is full, they might see the ghost...of a finger...hovering in mid air....
 
Carrying a Giant Black Pumpkin, with a huge malevolent eyes, and a very big, scary grin...
 
And the Giant Black Pumpkin will be laughing, and his eyes will light up, and a big GIANT TACO will be dripping out of his mouth...And he will be saying...in a deep voice, over and over, that sounds pretty much like Barry White...resynthisized to bass notes only a blue whale can actually hear...

                       "YES WE CAN!"
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
 
(Hey, give me a break, I'm new at this stuff.)

                Everyone have a Happy Halloween!
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EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Thursday, October 29, 2009 11:57:39 PM
Nobody Wins when our capital is overrun with a giant monster of cockroach proportions.
 
This happened this morning, on the very steps of our great Capitol, and there was just no stopping the big threat to the city.
 
It seems that Orkin,(Bug guys) went out of business, because they were 1. just the right size to fail, and 2. had never worked for Goldman Sachs...thereby not getting any stimulus money from Barney Frank, and that's the reason this horrible event happened.
 
Once again, we repeat; As we see from these pictures, this "huge" bug came out and appeared on the steps of our Capital in Washington D.C. today. The press was not allowed anywhere near the dangerous creature, even though it actually talked and said foul things no one believed or understood. And Orkin was no where to be found, as we have already explained.
 
The people and press were kept behind ropes for their own protection. Someone actually saw Michael Moore running down the street. (Okay, so he saw a hot dog cart.)
 
But it was reported, (by some nobody unrelated to me) that heard above that horrible gigantic bugspeaker's squeeky voice, (who somehow got to a microphone and who some said went by the name of Nancy) was the repeated chant:

EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!   EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!
 
So far tonight...because the Daleks were needed back in London, Orkin has been given a quick loan from the Fox News Channel.
 
Hopefully, this won't happen again.

(Nobody makes this stuff up...except for the part where I said Orkin was out of business. Everyone knows that Orkin, which produces many poisonous chemicals that can destroy man, women, children, dogs, cats, bugs, plants, and tea party people, will always be...too big to fail!)
 
Can we all wake up now?
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Nobody Cares About Barbie-que

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Thursday, October 29, 2009 12:12:22 AM
Nobody Cares: Al Gore said recently that the world had only 40 days before it would be too late to save it from mass global destruction.
 
We also know that we have just a little over a month to save our Constitution, when Obama signs over our sovereignty to the United Nations forever.
 
Barbie has only a few minutes before Ken comes and saves her from the wicked trolls of environmental wackos who are mad at her for using too much energy.
 
Will she escape to get a new politically correct girlfriend another day?
Will the world end this year?
Will our current national 'emergency' continue until the next election?
Will the United States end with Obama?
Will the people of the world continue to bow down to tyrannical nut jobs?
Will they REALLY take away our hamburgers?
Will our next President be a transvestite?
Will Barney Frank ever stop being such a moron?
Will Brad Pitt stop driving motorcycles and take up roller skating?
Will the Yankees once again win the World Series, and is it really true that the Taliban hate Obama more than George W. Bush?  
 
Will Thomas Sowell decide that the only way to save our country is for him to give up his life, and run for President?
 
How the $%# should I know?
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Stimulating Nurses

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Wednesday, October 28, 2009 1:15:56 AM
Nobody Knows:

“Cen I speet to Peeellip please?” said the caller.
 
Okay, I answered my phone. I will answer any phone, unlike most of the population. This is a problem of many American women who are stuck at home, and are hoping for a call where someone says, “YOU HAVE JUST WON…$112 million dollars!” It’s an illness, and so far, no one has thought of a cure.
 
“Who---say that again?” I said.
 
Obviously, this was one of our new poor illegal immigrants trying desperately hard to communicate with one of those pesky Americans who are living unlawfully in their rightful country.

“Can I speak to Peeelllip?”
 
“Who? I can’t understand you…”
 
“Can I spee to Peeelipp?”
 
“There is no Phillip here.”

“Well, would chu lik to train to beeecum a nurse?” was her next question.
 
“No.” (I was wondering if a man named Phillip had picked up the phone, if she would have asked the same question.)

“Well, eeesss there enie-one dere who would lik du train du become a nurse, because we can TRAIN yu and yu familiiee?”
 
Oh…happy day!
 
My training days were over right after I flunked my first Philosophy Class in college because I told the teacher Socrates was ugly so that’s why he used his brain…(The old Rocky theory) but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
 
“No, no….and no…goodbye.”
 
After I hung up, I thought--- that’s a new one. Just ask for anyone and start right into your sales pitch. That poor Latino lady sounded so desperate. As if…if we didn’t get “nurses” right away, the whole country would die, and she then she really would have to go back to Mexico. She was told that desperation and flu is everywhere, along with a shortage of good churches to hide at, and do not worry…soon, the people would need professional help. And since the housing market collapse, lots of illegal’s lost jobs, and so more jobs are needed to fill the void, therefore…voila! We need nurses! Nurses can not only deliver babies, they can have lots of their own.
 
Maybe you have heard about the nurse shortage. It is so bad that plans have been made to put the illegal immigrant women to work as nurses, and train them to deliver babies outside of hospitals as soon as possible.
 
There is going to be a shortage of doctors soon after they pass the Public Option, so the next best thing to deal with the overload of sick people (because the lines will be long to see medical doctors) …is nurses. Give them the power to do everything but major surgery, and put them on the government payroll. All they will have to know is how to take a temperature, give a shot, take blood, prescribe antibiotics, deliver babies, and then the government will have a whole new working class of government workers. If you can’t speak English, don’t worry. All your computer entries will be in Spanish.
 
Sadly, the phone call left me…bored. So, I turned on C-Span. I love C-Span. And there she was…some really sweet looking grandmotherly lady on the floor of the Congress. She was a representative, from a Southern state, who was telling, dare I say it? The truth. In English!

Nobody Knows where they found this gem, or why she was even allowed to speak, but there she was…telling us about how AARP, was all for the Universal Health Care system, because they would make billions off their supplemental insurance programs which people would be running and tripping over to GET in order to cover all the monumental costs of hospitals, once the Government Health Care program kicked in--- because as everyone knows, no government medical program is going to pay…much…or close to nothing because our government is broke, and will be until they can get some aliens from another planet to “fix” it. And no doubt these aliens will bring what we are going to need…lots of nurses.
 
And more hairspray for our newscasters.
 
So, that’s the plan. We need to invent more “service” jobs, because in Universal Health Care, a whole slew of government “nurses” will be hired so “President” Obama can say the stimulus is working.
 
Soon, we will be so overloaded with nurses; they will be waiting for us in our local drugstores, Wal-Marts, schools, and grocery shopping markets! Wait…that’s already happening? (It's already in place...see?)
 
Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m here to tell you. The reason no one in Congress will ever admit in a million years to reading the Health Care Plan is because they don’t want to be held accountable when the mob comes to their houses.
 
 “Hey, that was slipped in after midnight! I was in Kabul being shot at! I had NO idea; I didn’t have time to read it!”
 
Someday, I just know it. I’m going to answer the phone and some recorded message will say: “COMRADE…you must report to your local city hall and sign up to volunteer to be a nurse for a year if you are not currently working, or ill, or else pay a fine of….” AT that point, I will hang up, and no longer answer my phone. So, they will have to come to my door, and I will say I am an alien, I have a deadly virus contacted on Mars, and my name is Peelip. I died in 1969, and now, I'm a zombie who cannot be around humans.

And if you don't believe me...just ask my husband, then go away.

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Nobody's Perfect: Jay Leno

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Monday, October 26, 2009 11:34:28 PM
Nobody's Perfect: When Jay Leno was picked over David Letterman to replace Johnny Carson on the Tonight's Show, it was a major surprise to most of the country. For many years, Mr. Letterman held the ratings war.
Letterman was my favorite for many years, mostly because he made my middle-age son laugh so hard, and it was something we could watch together. He was at the top of his game.
 
But then, one night, Hillary Clinton appeared for the first time on his show, during her Senatorial run, and the very next day, David Letterman suffered a major heart attack. When he came back, he used his show to attack conservatives, and became...well, in some cases, just downright mean. He just wasn't funny anymore.
 
That was all Jay needed to gain support. He told jokes about both parties, and continued to get rich, and top ratings. He had the Tonight Show's great stage, time slot, and wisely followed it's successful format.
 
So, why is Leno's new show doing so badly in the polls right now?
 
Well, it's not just that he looks like he never even combs his hair anymore, or the fact that the new look of sloppy couch chairs is not really appealing...or that his interviewing of famous people on a big TV screen is sometimes, boring...
 
It's what he is doing with FORD. The first time any of us saw his idea, that all his guest would drive around the new electric or (hybrid) cars on a small race track, and he was going to try and make it entertaining...well, many of us were just downright insulted.
 
Why? Because it's common knowledge that Leno has one of the most fabulous collection of gas guzzlers on the planet. If there is any man on the planet who should be against forcing people to drive tiny electric cars, it should be Jay.
 
That whole segment is an advertisement for the New Global Green Cars Movement. And while he will use his show as blatant advertising for mass cultural brain washing..he himself (like most elites) will continue to be seen driving around in one of his many beautiful gas guzzlers. This makes him no different than all the politicians who continue to tell us that we cannnot drive gas cars anymore, while they continue it with no guilt whatsoever.
 
So, Leno's Not Perfect. He has a very expensive habit, and like Bob Dylan says, "everyone's gotta serve somebody."
 
" But, I bet if Jay would bring just one of his cars from his private collecton a night, to drive or RACE that really silly car he has everyone getting into...his ratings would soar. He might even save NBC!
 
Okay, maybe not.
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Nobody's Absurdities, No. 76

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Sunday, October 25, 2009 11:21:48 PM
Nobody's Absurdities, No. 76
SWINE FLU IMPORTANT UPDATE
 
Presidente Obama's Czar of National Health Care Emergencies, issued another warning today...to all citizens not getting their flu shots.
 
This man was last seen walking near the Dayton, Ohio, school for the blind. The whole school is has been infected and is now designated for slaughter.
 
If you see anyone who looks like this...STAY AWAY...and immediately call your local sheriff.
 
Or better yet, if you prefer...call a politician of any party, and tell them you have money to donate to their re-election because they are doing such a fine job, and then tell them to meet you to pick up their check, (make sure it's a LOT of money so they will show up.) at the exact location that the infected man (or woman) was last seen.
 
This is what swine flu really looks like! Be careful.
 
THIS HAS BEEN A SWINE FLU UPDATE...you can now return to your last invisible crisis.

(Nobody makes this stuff up.)
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Nobody Flashes: We are now...safe.

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Sunday, October 25, 2009 1:07:28 AM
Nobody Flashes!

COMRADES!
 
This is my 1,111 post! Well, not on Townhall, but on Blogger.
 
 
Yes, I'm tired after all this writing. (That's me, in Christian Communist Dior)
 
Those of you who read any of my earlier stuff, know I have a great affection for the numbers, 111, or 11, or 1.11...222 is okay also, but it can either kill you, or make you a millionaire, I haven't figured that one out yet. I'll get back to ya.
 
And even though the news today was dire...so dire that our President declared a national state of emergency...
due to the H1n1 flu getting out of hand, most of us are relaxing tonight. Or watching sports on TV. Waiting to be attacked just as soon as it's possible. Right now, I think I see the virus trying to get into my back door...but, I'm ready. I have WASP spray, right by the latch.
 
I couldn't remember, (because as you see, I'm just so tired) if President Bush declared a national state of emergency after 9/11...do you? I do remember him grounding all planes that did not have Saudis in them...
 
Gosh, our Presidents are just so...great.
 
Our current President, Obama, can now declare himself dictator and control simply everything now...in just minutes..including calling out the National Guard if those lines at Wal-Mart for free flu shots get out of line, and take them all to a "safe" place. We all saw what happened in Detroit.
 
I saw some pretty vicious mothers standing in lines today....it could get really bad. But---at least we have a commander-in-chief who makes quick decision when it comes to protecting American lives.
 
Okay..where's the joke joyanna? You are such a doomsday blogger, god, give us a break!
 
Okay. Since I'm half asleep...how about just a joke? Well, I think it's a joke. My neighbor on the other hand, just bought one.

           Made in Germany--Batteries not included.
 
I don't know what's it's called, but I suggest "spread you legs" in German. That way, all the guys can demand action.
 
Due to the H1N1 flu virus being everywhere...don't forget to wash your hands before you get in it. And be sure and honk that horn. If fact, you might want to do that first.
 
 
And yes, I'll go to bed now. Really, I'm okay. Really.
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Mao THIS!

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Saturday, October 24, 2009 1:45:28 AM
Nobody’s Fool: How many times have you wondered about something, knowing in your gut, that something just doesn’t quite add up…but you just can’t put your finger on it?
That’s how I felt today when I was thinking about the ‘President’ getting tough and taking over executive pay…No more bonuses for those greedy CEOs!
 
Obama could have prevented that problem if he had demanded that the CEO’s couldn’t take bonuses out of the TARP money in the first place, so it really is his fault. (And his predecessor)
 
Or was that the plan?-- Make some villains?
 
Wiseguy Obama says they can keep their bonuses…but next time, he will get them. Now, he has a CZAR that will tell everyone what they can make. And he’s JEWISH!
 
What a hypocrite. No wonder Castro loves the guy.
 
Yes, I was thinking back--- just what were the odds that every single CEO in the history of every single American bank that got that Tarp bailout money, put their hands in that pot and pulled out as much as they could carry to their off-shore bank accounts. Every single one. Maybe there was one honest one in the bunch, but still, think about it. It all happened much too easily.
 
I tend to think that, statistically speaking, the odds of a few putting up a fight would have been much more…believably.
 
Remember the steps: President Bush came out of absolutely nowhere and said; I have to save the world, it’s going to collapse, therefore, you the taxpayer are going to give billions to our banks so we can save you. Within days, this invisible threat that most of us couldn’t even see, is solved.
 
And then, the “greedy” CEO’s take so many millions in bonuses that no one in America can believe their gall! Millions that they did not deserve---in fact they took so much money, none of them will ever have to work again in their lifetimes. (Nor their children) And it was given to them by a government that made sure no questions were asked about how they were to use the money.
 
And that’s the give-away-- right there: this coup, was planned.
 
All the CEO had to do was fill out a simple two-page form…that’s it. Here you are sir; how many billions would you like?
 
And just one man is given the power to do it? Was there a big Congressional hearing?
 
Nope.
 
Did they use the money to “save” the country?
 
Nope.
 
Some of them get new offices, new jets, and expensive vacation homes.

Fact: 67% of this money went to the top big eight…like AIG, Bank of America, and Goldman Sachs, the same big eight that Obama is now going to cut their salaries.
 
THEN…while everyone is outraged about how the “greedy” CEO’s, (How dare they take that money!) NO one says much about the corrupt politicians that just gave it all to them, without any strings attached. The fact that the government caused the problem in the first place is really not mentioned. (Gee, I seem to remember a savings and loan operation where the Bush family was involved…in the 1980’s don’t you? How much did we pay for that?)
 
The next step; Focus everyone on that nasty thing called…capitalism, and those greedy evil CEO’s. Saturate the news, the schools, and the blogs with it. Michael Moore makes a movie, expressing our outrage, and the answer is: socialism or merging with Cuba…or Mao…well capitalism is just plain nasty, anything is better! Create the problem, and now, the solution--- a mixture of communism/corporatism/ fascism of have, and have-nots, in other words…
 
                                                             China II.
 
America the beautiful…gutted like a pig.
 
Take over the banks, the companies, and set the stage for the new revolution, of…whatever they want to call it…they will save you.
 
That’s how the communist have taken over countries for eons. Mao, in fact, studied how to start a communist revolution, learned how to do it…in Russia, and was sent out as the agent of ‘change.' The same thing happened in Cuba…pretty much.
 
Was this all planned?
 
The more I think about it: the more it obvious it is to me that the answer is: yes.
 
Remember when President Bush said, ‘I have to get rid of capitalism in order to save it.’ ?
 
What? Save it for WHOM?
 
It seems pretty simple. There have been meetings, deals, and plans put in place. When Michelle said Obama was going to “Completely rewrite our culture, history and get full, “change?” We now know she meant…communism. That fact just hasn’t hit Americans yet…but it will…it will.
 
In the end, those big eight companies will make more money than they ever could in a Republic, and their CEO’s will be living in China.
 
I hope they all drown in Kung-Fu Panda.
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Volunteer--- Or Grandma Gets No Meds.

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Friday, October 23, 2009 12:10:47 AM
Nobody Wins:
Volunteering Grandma's Time.

We keep hearing the same old thing...from Obama and his many communistic goons:
'Universal Health Care will not cost us a dime. Obama will find the "savings" to pay for all of it...trust him....not a dime.'

Now, logically speaking, with the highest national deficit ever created on the planet, most of us know that he...as Joe Wilson so eloquently put it...he lies.

We are so far in debt now that there is no Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, ...we're broke. So, the plan is, get young blood up here working, (Latinos' ) get the old people to die off ...thereby the savings in costly care, and Obama can get his savings for his Unversal Health Care by saving costs that would be spent keeping everyone alive.

He has already admitted this...remember?

That system of surviving the tax losses from the quicker demise of the older generation is working pretty well all over the world, and it's now coming here.

When we all figured out this insidious plan, and went to tea parties in protest, they cleverly had some democratic politician appear on the floor of Congress and declare that NO...it was the Republicans that want you to die, not us!

Does it matter?

But, that would be "genocide" so...they have to do this just right. There will be some people who will, despite everything the state tries... just will not die... they will stay healthy... but they might need a few medications.

That's not good. So, we need to do something with these people, they figure.

What if...those old people, in order to get the medications that they need to keep alive, and didn't have money to pay for...what if the only way they could get those medications, is that they would have to "volunteer" their time to tutoring or working...in order to receive the drugs? That would fix the problem!

Nah...that won't happen you say? Well, they are already offering this, "If you want to go to college, you must serve the state."--- right? It's just one step further.

And the propaganda to prepare for it is already out.

This morning, my husband, who never talks unless he just has to, told me about a Medicare commercial he had seen. An old lady was teaching a class of lst graders, ballet. She says right off that she was "volunteering" her time teaching kids to dance, and then, the ad went on about her pill program with Medicaid.

Clever. She mentions she is volunteering...she needs medications. It's pretty obvious the exercise in mind-control here. I didn't even have to see it.  

Last night, as I was standing in line at my local Walgreens Drug Store, I saw this flyer... asking for volunteers. (the one above) What I thought was funny about this, is that this place is so far away that it would take you an hour to get there, and at least a tank of gas.

I looked up the organization, Urban Future...a think tank which is in every city, and found this quote:
"Our staffers function more like beat reporters going out into the field to observe..."

Really, I thought this was about mentoring?

It's function: get citizens to spy, and then report back to the "think tank." So the "think tank" can gather more information for their "social engineering" plans. And who better to do this than the "retired" person?

Many of the older citizens cannot retire now, because of what happened to their "retirement funds' but then, they could still work, and get paid.

But, that's not what they want. They need to save their big cushy jobs.
 
You know, the Japanese are sending their old off to Islands in Asia. If Obama wants to send me off to Hawaii, and provide food, medical care, and a really nice house...I'm all for it.
 
What do you think? I'll volunteer to teach swimming to the local kids...once a week...just like the flyer says. I'll even teach them about communism for free!
 
Then live to the age of 111 just to torture them.
 
You don't think they can make you "volunteer"?
 
Just watch the creative minds of tyrants at work. It's scary.
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Courage On Ice

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Wednesday, October 21, 2009 11:38:56 PM
Nobody Cares;
 
“Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee, whithersoever thou goest”                                                                 Joshua, ch. I, V. 5
 
Once in a while I just have to write a letter to God. A letter where I can say what I want, and it really doesn’t matter…it’s also great therapy, as all the scientific surveys will assure you. Feel free to join in. *****
 
Dear God.
 
I want to first thank you for the birds you sent me today. You know that huge bush that I cannot afford to cut down, and my husband is too sick to? You know--the one right outside my computer room window? It’s become a favorite gathering place for all the little chippies, and cardinals to gather and just be the pretty little dears that they are---and they cannot see me, sitting only a few feet away. They chip and chirp and gather like little bunnies, warm and happy to sit and just be their adorable little selves. They give me great comfort, my little darlings. I could watch them sing and preen for hours. If this keeps up, I might never cut that bush down.
 
Now I can put on my list of vices, bird voyeur---good grief.
 
It was warm here today; the autumn leaves are just breathtaking. The yellows are coming out; the burning bushes are all in bloom. Bright red is everywhere, just punching in your eyelids. Forget the cell phones, watch out for the burning bush!
 
I saw the most endearing tree in the middle of the park today; it was light green at the top and throughout, and you threw multi-colored yellows in like miscreant dashes of mustard. The whole tree was soft, as if engulfed in light feathers…and then, bright, cranberry reds on the sides.
 
What can you do with such beauty other than stare? None of the other trees could even compete with it. From afar, it was so beautiful it almost didn’t look real. I had to blink…
 
So you filled my eyes, and then my soul. Another thank you is due…I know you get a lot of thanks, but how about one more? You know, that lesson you gave me, that one I so needed.
 
That lesson in courage?
 
My husband and I went to the local mall, (as you know) which was empty of all but a few shoppers, and just before we left, there he was---a hero, on the ice…on the ice rink.
 
But wait…I get ahead of myself. (Good thing you invented time warps.)
 
We were sitting on the side of the ice rink, looking through the glass…having a last minute pretzel before we left, and laughing at a man who had no doubt never been on a pair of skates before. He was taking a lesson, but was too scared to fall down, so therefore, he pretty much stayed in one place.
 
Nevertheless, having no grace on skates myself, I know the feeling. “Will I break a bone? How many falls can my butt take before it becomes too bruised? Is anybody watching? What about my hands! I won’t be able to play piano! Jeez.”
 
I wanted to yell at him, “Go ahead, take a chance!” But I think even his teacher was getting frustrated by the way he was waving his arms around at the guy.
 
Then it happened…pretty quickly...my lesson. 
 
I saw the wife first. She walked passed us, almost as if she was embarrassed to be carrying the contraption, she had in her arms. “What’s she carrying? It looks like a real funny baby carriage, but it has paddles…weird.” I said.
 
We looked into the rink, and there was a crippled man waiting in a wheelchair right outside the ice. The woman was probably his wife by the worried look on her face. In my heart, there was no doubt he was probably injured in the war, in Afghanistan or Iraq, by a roadside mine.
 
She put down the strange looking apparatus, and then man got in it all by himself somehow. Then, he literally scooted himself on floor, onto the rug, and then onto the ice…where he became…a man again.
 
He used two short paddles, (which looked homemade) and pushed himself to the other end of the ice with such upper body strength that even I felt the freedom and strength in his arms, and I imagined what it must be like to be able to go fast again. As he soured from one end of the ice to the other, as quickly as any professional hockey player, my emotions soured with him. Surely he was no stranger to the ice. And by his attack on the ice, no doubt, he was no stranger to the hardships of battle.
 
Yeah--- I got teary eyed. I wanted to go and tell the wife what an inspiration he was, and how I enjoyed watching him twist and turn with such grace, but…she had that look that one gets on your face, when life hits you with such surprise. A look of exhaustion, worry, and “Why him? Why me?” WHY?
 
The burden that has now been placed on her is unimaginable. Besides, my husband would have been embarrassed if I had done said something, so I didn't.
 
But the urge was strong because, I’ve been where she is before. The road ahead of her will be greater than his, in many ways. Watching him soar on the ice, you could tell that this man still had his spirit. Somewhere he had gotten support. But she was still…overwhelmed with the shock.
 
So God, I pray you will help these two American hero’s. Give her some cheer…and soon, in whatever way you can. Keep him strong for her.
 
And help me too God. The changes that they have been planning for so very long are all coming so fast, it’s hard to have an emotional defense, which is exactly what they want. I feel so many days, just like that woman, and ask over and over the question of-- why? Why do we fight to save America, when our leaders destroy it with every daily ranting rage of crisis? 
 
You showed me a man standing tall today, and he didn’t even have any legs. Courage…was the lesson…and may God help us all to have more of it.
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An Army of ...Troops

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Tuesday, October 20, 2009 9:03:22 PM
Nobody Knows: ---Just why 'President' Obama is stalling on sending more troops to Afghanistan, when every day that he delays, the more soldiers lives are sacrificed...
 
Yes, American lives are being lost because Obama is pussyfooting around, waiting for HIS guy in Afghanistan to get put in power...whoever that is.
 
He can't decide what to do until there are new elections. They need to have another corrupt election like the first. (First rule of Lawyers....stall.)
 
The Pentagon in the meantime, calls for 40,000 more "troops."
 
Here's what I want to know. Ever since Clinton taught us that the word "is" has endless possibilities, nobody knows when exactly, at what moment in time, did just one soldier became a "troop". Was it when we became an army of "one?"
 
Maybe Obama like me, thinks the word troop means, as it does in most dictionaries, "a body of soldiers." And therefore 40,000 troops is really 12 million men, minus Barney Frank.
 
Whatever he believes, he is obviously more concerned of his war on the American insurance companies who are "pulling out their big guns." And that's a direct quote.
 
"BIG GUNS? Insurance companies?"
 
Yes, Obama is at war with Americans, especially anyone who refuses to want his government-run Heath Care. The real soldiers will just have to wait.
 
So, when we get our 'troops' together to fight a tyrant, I suggest we go with the first definition of troops.
Then our "troops" will outnumber his.
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Nobody's Perfect:Dunn & Heene:One Puts Up a Fight, One Puts Up a Hoax

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Tuesday, October 20, 2009 1:19:55 AM
Nobody's Perfect:
Dunn & Heene
 
We had two, very imperfect Homo sapiens on top of the news last week, and if judged on a scale of one to ten in imperfections, I’d give them both a twenty-two.

First: While we all like a good UFO in the sky, and feel sorry for new inventors because they have only a 2% chance of ever seeing their inventions on the market--- when you decide to show off to the world that you are the inventor of the year, and you do it with an elaborately planned media hoax, you might just want to make sure that your children know how to lie, cheat, cry, and manipulate, just as well as you.
 
By now, everyone watched Richard and Mayumi Heene’s big grab for world attention last week, when they claimed that Richard’s really nifty new invention---the never before seen helium balloon, had escaped with his five-year-old son, Falcon, inside.
 
Falcon must have lost his wings at birth, because no one saw him come down. (I know we all want to get the space program up and running again, but this was a bit much.)
 
Little Falcon was found, and the family quickly ran to all the cable stations, sobbing tears of joy, and then it happened…Falcon ruined his parents life forever, by being honest. Most think the crime of running millions of dollars worth of bills on the taxpayer’s backs while everyone was chasing the balloon, the first offense. But I beg to differ. Our own government does much worse to its citizens every single day, and we don’t even get a pretty balloon to watch.
 
No, what was worse was the traumatic mental problems this dad saddled his little boy to bear. To know he hurt his parent’s lives for ever, by saying the “wrong” thing at the "wrong" time... well, to place that burden on a child is almost unforgivable. That’s child abuse right up there with Michael Moore. (Come on…something happen to Michael Moore as a child.)
 
Dad and mom need major therapy. I’d give the kids to grandma and grandpa for a while, and make mom and dad clean out sewers in India for about two years….but that’s me.

Second: And speaking of the space program---guess who help get John Glenn elected to the Senate, once upon a time? Yes, our second candidate, “I just love Mao and controlling the media, and, yes, I do look like mother Teresa, don’t I?”…Anita Dunn.
 
She also trained, that lovable White House spokemen, Robert Gibbs. You can see the resemblance, around the ears. The same gibberish comes out of the mouth.
 
Her main mistake was talking just a little too freely about loving communism, and Glenn Beck just took it and ran like a dog with a great, big, squeegee toy.
 
She quoted her favorite line by Mao: “You fight your war, and I’ll fight mine.” I can only say…keep fighting Anita. In fact, get some lip gloss, and a few bushels of that California medicinal marijuana, and pass it around the White House.
 
Unless of course, they already have their own supply---in that case, go ahead, and give the rest of the Mao lovers their fair share.
 
And if you get too stoned to fight? Well, Anita…Nobody’s Perfect! We would certainly understand how you would need a little relief from the pain.
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The Lucrative Market of Ignorance

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Monday, October 19, 2009 1:11:15 AM
Nobody’s Opinion: If you want to see real excitement these days, forget about balloon chasers, HlNl flu deaths, the weather warnings, or the latest discovery of what politician is making lewd passes to toes or interns, and just turn to your favorite cable news channel, whether it be CNN, FOX, MSNBC, and wait for it.
 
It happens every ten seconds---an expression of, “Oh…the DOW is UP!”
 
It doesn’t matter who declares it, they all do it. If you want to see expressions of real, honest-to-goodness joy, just watch any famous newscaster or pundit who is reporting the stock numbers. If the market is going up, they look like a bunch of five-year olds on Christmas morning. As if they just got that brand new X-Box, complete with all versions of Halo, and a year’s supply of gummy bears.
 
Just the other day, I was watching Sheppard Smith. His eyes lit up like Santa on a Bennie, as he impatiently waited for the Dow to reach over 10,000. Sheppard has the cutest smile and he can hardly contain his excitement. In his head, he had just made a whole bunch of money, without having to lift a finger. It’s a gambler’s addiction, and it’s clear to most of us…he has that “bug.”
 
No doubt he hangs with the crowd that gets the big tips, buys and sells at the right time, and keeps each other informed. And, even if they lose, they can turn it all around in a heartbeat because they’ve got the cash.
 
Neil Cavuto, likewise, could watch the world burn around him, but if the stocks were up, he’d be saying, “We must be thankful for what we have. Look around you, feeling blue? Your wife just left you? You lost your house? Well, don’t worry…the market is doing well. Count your blessings.”
 
Say what?
 
What’s just so remarkably funny to me is the fact that, to the many millions of Americans who watch this ‘joy’ every other second, it really doesn’t matter whether the stock goes up, down, sideways, throws up, grows a mustache, or does cartwheels on top of Barney Franks head…it doesn’t affect us one single bit. We can’t really get that excited about it.
 
Why? Because for most of us, the thought of our 401-K’s making a couple of dollars, is not exactly on our “ode to joy” lists. And please…I’m supposed to feel sorry that Harvard lost money? The kids won’t get free breakfasts? Say that again?
 
The truth is, to make money in the stock market; you have to have money to play it. And right now, most of America is wondering what food group they are going to have to give up in the future just to pay their taxes. Gambling is not on the menu.
 
Well, what do I know? I never even knew what a stock was until well into my twenties. I would open up the paper, look at all the numbers and think…whoa. What does this all mean? D.O.W could just as well mean, “Don’t Ovulate in Winter”--that’s how much I knew about it.
 
So, why aren’t they teaching a mandatory class on how to trade stock in high school? Most high school students can’t even write a check, let alone know how to trade on the stock market. The only way in America you learned how to play the stock market, was if your parents taught you, like mister excitable himself, quack the duck, Jim Cramer. His dad taught him how to gamble at nine.
 
I was still climbing trees while Rockefeller was turning trades in his crib.
 
The motto has been,”Don’t teach the slaves to read…or how to play the market."
 
If the masses had been taught how to play the stock market in school, we might have seen more than tea parties after witnessing the greatest robbery scam ever committed in the history of the Milky Way. Wall Street, Congress, Presidents, and the Federal Reserve----gleefully destroyed our whole financial fabric by playing around with the stock market. They gambled, and made trillions, gave each other big bonuses, and then said, “Opps…who knew?”
 
Nevertheless, they keep on reporting this stuff as if it really matters to all of us. And yet, the truth is, it does-- because the real wealth of our nation is not in real money, it’s in thin air, and every up and down determines our very survival. We went from agrarian, to industrial, to investments, to our now current “service” economy, where the servers really serve.
 
The cable owners know that most of America is suffering-- they know the stats. So who are all these stock markets updates for?

Themselves. They need minute to minute information---so cleverly they just got the muddle masses to pay for it. The rich can keep up on all the latest stock reports. It’s a win-win for them, this continual ignorance of the masses.
 
And in-between joyful cable expressions, they push that vaccine. They really don’t want any of us to get sick because—well...they are going to need us.
 
 (No offense to Cavuto and Sheppard Smith is meant. I adore them both.)
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Nobody's Has E-Mail: Black Jack Pershing

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Sunday, October 18, 2009 12:53:18 AM
Nobody's Favorite E-Mail: The Pershing Effect....
It's a Saturday night, I'm watching baseball on TV...in middle of October, the top of the 12th at Yankee Stadium in the playoffs...Yankees pitchers have been almost perfect, and LA has keep up..it's tied 3/3. It's pouring, miserably cold, and the people are starting to leave. They are playing "Rocky" over the loudspeakers...

God...I'm still in America!
 
It doesn't get much better than this. (Well, unless you're there, obviously.)
 
And so, for some reason, watcing all this testosterone walking around throwing fastballs, waving bats.....gets me to thinking...YES...REAL MEN...!
(Leave me alone)
 
I think this e-mail is my favorite tonight, when the country has such a weak President, we must remember, who we are...Hope it's not too small for you to see.
 
I love how the General used the pig idea. Maybe if our soldiers would just spread some pig blood around the roads...in Iraq and Afghanistan, or drop pig blood from drones...they just wouldn't come out of their caves...what do ya think?
 
(This is the reason I would make a terrible general, but I certainly would be a better commander in chief than the current one. So would about 50 million other people.)
 
DROP THE PIG BLOOD...NOW!
 
OOOOOOO..It's going to the bottom of the 12th...it's Miller time.
Wait, I don't drink. But I CAN eat peanuts.
 
I gotta go, I'm getting peanut shells all over my computer...It's still raining in New York, it's top of the 13th...
WAIT...that guy missed that on purpose..! I could have caught that ball!
 
HEY...you bums! (Okay I'll stop.) This is a first, blogger is talking to herself on her own blog.
 
It's come to this.
 
 
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Nobody's Absurdities, No. 75: Canine Flu

Posted by Joyanna Adams on Friday, October 16, 2009 11:54:33 PM
Nobody Absurdities,
No. 75...

"Nobody's Newsflash Update!"
 
Did you know that your dog needs to get a flu shot right along with you? Have you heard the latest crisis?
 
Yes, it's the new "Canine Flu," and it's a real killer. I heard on my local news tonight that ..our dogs could die...and soon. Our dogs need our help. They need....flu shots, just like everyone else in the world. 
 
And just like the swine flu shots, the canine flu shots need to be given in doses of two for each canine, at the price of $25.00 a piece.
 
As you can see by this poor poodle, who got the canine flu over the weekend, this canine flu does some pretty terrible and unthinkable things to the dog before the dog dies a painful and embarrassing death.
 
Fluffy was overcome with the urge to be a flower, and a bug. The virus also went to her tail...it's just that lethal.
Her owner said, "It's almost too much to bear to see her suffer so..I'm seriously considering putting her on Obamacare where she can be put to sleep, and quickly!...at least that what I'm hoping."  
 
So, while you're busy waiting for YOUR swine flu shots...might as well get your beloved canines the most necessary swine flu shot...wait, I mean canine shot...wait, I mean mercury shot...wait..oh..you know...the government shots.
 
Can you believe this? First China tries to poison our dogs and if that was not enough, they sent over a canine vaccine, filled, just like the swine flu shot...with lots of mercury.
 
I guess nobody is buying those new GE lightbulbs...that's not working.
 
The real truth is, China wants to release a biological weapon and kill off at least a third of us, before they invade. And you know me...better safe than dead...which is why I'll wait till my neighbor and her dog die of the flu before I worry about it.

Nobody could make this stuff up.
 
(Well, the poodle...is still alive and in Miami Beach...but the rest of it...HAS been reported, I swear.)

Believe what you want...it couldn't get more absurd.
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