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The Pancakes of Political Flippers--Arnold Schwarzenegger: King of Floppers

Nobody’s Perfect: “Great minds think alike.”
 
I don’t know who said that, but last weekend when I was listening to Arnold Schwarzenegger being interviewed by George Stephanopoulos (say that about five times real fast) there was a moment when Arnold spilled the beans. It was one of those “I can’t believe he actually admitted it on camera!” moments. You know---one of those, “Is he really that stupid?” confessions; like when a bank robber brags about his crime because he just has to tell somebody how clever he has been…which is pretty much what Arnold did.
 
He started bragging about how, during primaries, you run as something you’re not, then you move to the center to get more people, and then once in power, you can be a liberal or do just about anything you like. Right there on camera, he admitted his own scam.
 
We all witness this every day. It just took the arrogance of a movie star who’s seen his own humongous head a little way too many times on the big screen to admit it. Still…I wondered if anyone in the media would call him on it, since George didn’t.
 
Sure enough, the great mind of Glenn Beck took the subject and ran with it today. It was all about flip-flopping. You know, that pancake action taken by politicians when they run on a theme or agenda, just to get elected, then as soon as they get in power, they do a complete 180 turnaround? Sometimes they turn around so many times you wonder where their point of entrance actually was.
 
Flip-flopping is an art, and we have Olympians performing them daily on our newscast. And it’s my Nobody’s Opinion that the new “News Museum” across from the White House should be renamed, “The House of Flopping Political Pancakes.”
 
Flip em’ while their hot!
 
Arnold also told George that he thought flip-flopping was great. I’m not kidding---that’s the word he used. He said to George, “I vonce thought dis, now I think datend of story.” End of story? What story?
 
It’s like, he was saying “So, I van as a conservative vepublican, because I new dat if I ran as a liberal I vouldn’t get elected. And you dthought I vas going to kom in like the Ter-min-a-tooor, and you believed I vust have been a real conservative to stand up to Ded Kennedy, and let you dhink that I’m the big man in the house because I married a Kennedy out of love…but I am a die-hard socialist, and I kom from Germany (actually Austria, but he loves Germany now because they lead in solar power) and took steroids and became big movie star and then bought ‘alf of Cal-le-forn-nia, And I told jew how much I loved this country, (which I will flip-flop on when I am President) and now I vill become the most powerful man in de vorld someday, because I know how to run---to de left, da center, and da vright! And I also vill become the new energy guide, and I alone vill lead the vorld into the new global energy products, because first and foremost, I have stock in solar, wind, and hybrid cars, and I vill become even richer than Bill Gates…and I vill transform the face of the earth with brand new energy technology, (Arnold is getting better at English) even if I have to burn up half of California every year just to prove it. And after Cal-le-forn-nia, I vill go to the moon and set up solar communities, and then vie vill go to put clean water on Mars…”
 
Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself here. First, Arnold has to become President, which as we all know by recent history, is a mere technicality.
 
 So why is Arnold begging for a position in Obama’s cabinet, and at the same time endorsing McCain? For the same reason that the Pope is endorsing global money…I mean warming. Here’s a clue that he knows its all bull. He wouldn’t admit to George that global warming was causing the fires in California.
 
If Arnold ever becomes President, our American ways as we know it will be terminated. We will all be little extra’s in Arnold’s environmental sci-fi real-life movie. I don’t know about you, but I think Sylvester Stallone was trying to tell us something in “Demolition Man” when he found out that Arnold would become President.
 
I’m now putting salt right under light-bulbs on my list of items to save.
 
Arnold: An over sized brain filled with the residue of steroids floating around looking for a way to expand. Someday, it’s going to explode. Arnold may be lovable flip-flopping pancake--- but he’s turned out to be a real pain in.... pan.
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The Gentleman Leaves the Stage

Nobody's Opinion:

Tony Snow--gone.

I'll hand you my tears, if you hand me yours.

In the end, he stood by a falling star, when nobody else would.

And that alone made him the greater man.

 

 

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Fannie Mae? Freddie Mac?

Nobody Flashes Anymore: Last night a young woman named Fannie Mae took a lawn chair, and got in line in front of her local AT&T store, so that she could be one of the first people in San Francisco to get the really cool, nifty new IPhone, put out all over the world on the same day, by that lovable genius, Steve Jobs. She had to wait a very long time...

Tonight, she is still there.

Good thing too. Not only did she miss finding out that the new IPhones didn't work, she also had the government come in and pay off all her outstanding debts.

Somebody offered to get her the phone in exchange for her rather large "smoke" but she didn't answer.

Okay, silly. But so is the bailout of two companies---obviously named by people who either were very stoned at the time, or drunk. Really--- Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac? Who thought up these names? Jesse Jackson?

Where's the limo?

Will the real Fannie and Freddie, please stand up?

 

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Nobody Responds to the Brain-Dead

Nobody Wins: Last week I picked up a book at my local library called, “Somebody’s Gotta Say It” by a radio talk show host named Neal Boortz.
 
I’d never heard of him.
 
After reading a bit, I thought he was an extremely likable very spunky conservative. He was fresh and full of straightforward opinions…my kind of guy…at least I held that view until I got to the 4th chapter. It was called, “BECAUSE SHE’S EARNED IT.” It was all about his opinions on Terri’s Schiavo’s feeding tube being removed.
 
His opinion---Terri was brain-dead. It was cruel to keep her alive.
 
Sorry Neal, if I could write a chapter in answer to your Terri Schiavo’s benevolent death wish, it would be called, “Somebody Has To Say It: Neil Boortz Sometimes Lacks A Brain Himself.”
 
That was nice of me…what I would really like to say is that he’s an idiot on the subject of ‘brain dead,’ but then again, so are many American doctors, who have been taught to use the word “brain-dead” just a little too often. In my opinion, Neal owes Terri’s parents an apology…let me tell you why.
 
Both my parents had massive strokes. I spent years taking care of them until they died. I also spent many endless hours reading about the brain, and hanging around hospitals. And if there was one thing that drove me completely mad, it was when expert “neurologists” kept telling me that (especially with my mother) she was brain dead. We should pull the feeding tube on her. I’m getting angry just thinking about it.
 
I remember my husband and me arguing with the three top neurologists at the hospital where my mother kept slipping in and out of consciousness. Later we found out one of the reasons for this was not the stroke, but the fact she had a collapsed lung. (They didn’t x-ray her lungs until four days later.) We kept telling them she was having a hard time breathing. But they just looked at her age…she was seventy-eight. It was her time to die.
 
One doctor said: “Well, she could live like that for another seventeen years…a vegetable. It’s your call but we think you should let her go.”
 
“We just talked to her! What’s your basis for determining this?”
 
“We held up one finger and she didn’t respond.”
 
“Was she in a comma at the time? Of course she didn’t respond! Where’s your common sense?” we said. “She’s talking to us!”
 
Oh, they said, “That’s just a “response.” (Remember, Terri’s smile was a ‘response’.)
 
If it were not for a better educated doctor from India, who went in and asked my mother questions, and then assured the other doctors, like we had been saying, my mother understood every word---her “feeding tube” would have been pulled at that moment.
 
Now, Neil admitted that he wanted Terri to die, because she was in some kind of hell. More of the fact is: Neil was in hell having to watch her suffer.
 
Neil also notes that according to her autopsy, her brain had actually liquefied. Ya’ think the fact that she had not been given food or water for what…three weeks had anything to do with her brain drying up into a prune there Neil? Neil is proof that brains can atrophy even with lots of water intake.
 
Unfortunately, Neil falls into the scary philosophy shared by too many people that any kind of suffering is just too hard for others to watch. Life shouldn’t be prolonged by technology. It’s cruel and inhumane. In fact this “argument” has, and is now, being used to sanctify all kinds of fascist governmental behavior, it’s nothing new.
 
Neil also said, “Finally, Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube was removed. Thirteen days later, she was at peace.” Evidently, according to Neil, she felt no thirst.
 
God--- what an idiot.
 
What started this? Evidently he had heard Rush Limbaugh once ask the liberals, “Why do you want Terri Schiavo to die?” As I remember it wasn’t just the liberals---but most of Congress, President Bush, his brother Jeb, and lots of Florida Judges.
 
Which brings me to the main point: When universal health care finally kicks in, millions of Americans, in a life or death situation, will not be given the latest technology, because some state mandated policy will decide it will be more humane to let them die, especially if they are old enough to drain the already bankrupt Medicare system. And unlike now, their families will have no say in the matter.
 
So, when Neil’s time finally comes, won’t he be shocked if he finds he might actually want to suffer and even live---- and yet it won’t be his call? Terri’s soul will be waiting to give him a good piece of her mind, and I hope she does.
 
Well, somebody had to say it.
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Muslim Torture: Plaid

Nobody Cares: If you want final proof why we cannot let rich Muslims infiltrate our country and take over our parking lots...then here it is: only a banana-head would buy a car like this, and think that having a car that looks like an old pair of Dan Ackroyd's pants, is something that will make him the envy of all his peers.

This is what happens when you hang around camels too long.

I don't care if this car has a gold-plated steering wheel, heated seats that message your tush, a $20,000 stereo system, I-Pod's latest stuff, and two missles that can be launched out the trunk...it's still fugly.

Which means, beyond ugly. If Brad Pitt had underwear on with this pattern...I wouldn't touch him, in fact---I'd insist he leave the room.

Only Rodney Dangerfield could have owned this car, and got any respect. Which is why you do not see the owner standing anywhere near it.

It's only redemption is it's not in red. ...it's not...right? Please...tell me it's not. No. No...stop...No more...I'll talk...whatever you want me to say!...Not the red! Nooooooooo! Not the plaid! Okay...Obama did it!

 

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Nobody Knew the Forest Was in the Trees

Nobody Knows: If there is one thing that never changes in life---its death, taxes, and the fact that Brittany Spears will live to be two hundred and seven, have twenty kids, and never know their real names…
 
No, just kidding…it’s that human beings don’t know much of anything and yet, millions of them seem to keep on insisting they do---unless it’s comes to the subject of Bear Stearns, and then nobody knows anything, especially the people that made millions on making up a rumor that there was a bear in the forest about to die.
 
So, filling in this week’s Nobody Knows was a very easy task, because as you know, when it comes to making money…bears are very stern. And speaking of bears….

Nobody Knows
---Why did the leaders of the G-8 countries decide for their annual photo-op this year, they were all going to plant baby trees? If you saw the video, our President didn’t know which hole to put the dirt (which was on a very clean white sheet)--- in. While the German leader was busy as a bee, filling in her hole with dirt, poor George acted as if he just couldn’t decide what to do with his shovel.
Of course, the picture was meant to symbolize the decision by the leaders to cut global emissions in half by 2050.
 
I suggest they all stop talking now.
 
So, if this is the plan, than why do all the new neighborhoods going up across the United States lack trees? Why do they have backyards the size of postage stamps? Not only that, they are built so close together that you could just pass that cup of sugar out your window to your neighbor on the right without getting dressed. The message is: we don’t want you to have lawns, flowers, and trees, because then you would require more water.
 
But that’s not stopping the G-8 leaders of the world. It’s obvious they think trees will save the planet. They could be right---I’d rather the trees were ruling us all then that sorry lot.
 
Expect “tree” fees: coming to your neighborhood soon. Just wait.
 
Frankly, I liked it better when they just posed in front of their castles.

Nobody Knows
---And speaking of global warming, nobody knows why great groups of homosexuals are so hot, that they are gathering and having group sex on the beach at Cape Cod. Who knew global warming was going to cause so much trouble?
 
Why bother writing “gay” children books when you can take little Johnny or Missy to the beach and let them watch Mother Nature in all it’s particular weird glory?
 
Most of the lewd acts are being committed by gays, but in order to take the ‘heat’ off the homosexuals, it is also reported that regular heterosexuals are having lots of fun too. Ted Kennedy would be proud.
 
I suggest a few wind mills to go along with the view. Obviously they need a good breeze.

Nobody Knows
---While every media pundit in every media venue was discussing the price of gas over the holidays, almost no one mentions that it always goes up whenever there is a major holiday weekend. The gas goes up on Friday, and goes down on Monday morning. This does not really work with the excuse we keep hearing, that China is demanding more, thus we must pay more, because if that were true, that means that the rest of the world is celebrating our 4th of July!
 
Tell them to stop it.

Nobody Knows
---So, if our high oil prices are due to the fact that OPEC is gouging us like all our politicians are saying…then why has our President agreed to give $8.7 billion dollars to sub-Saharan Africa over the next few years? Don’t they get enough? And who gave our President the power to go around the world and give billions upon billions of dollars every single year to hundreds of countries all over the planet? Pakistan got 7.1 billion to go after bin Ladin, but so far, nobody knows where the money went and nobody seems to care.

Nobody Knows
---And speaking of caring, last week the rich moguls of the internet and the media were having a great time in Idaho. Bill Gates thought that the In-Bev idea of just buying up the board of directors of a company and kicking them all out, was such a great idea, that he plans to do the same thing with Yahoo. It was the first time Bill Gates had to copy someone else’s “takeover” tactics.
 
This brings me back to Bear Stearns. Jamie Dimon, J.P Morgan’s CEO, was bragging last week about his ability to bail out Bear Stearns. Of course, Morgan was just the port hole the government passed the 30 billions dollars through. You and I paid for that whole mess, but you would have thought Jamie was the savior of the world.
 
He admitted it was a hostile takeover. He was in the woods, there was a rumor…but he didn’t see a thing. Mr. Dimon was bravely tending to the forest when the trees just all…crashed.
 
So the moral here is, beware of puppy-faced men like Bill Gates and Jamie Dimon. No matter how much they sound and look like innocent boy scouts protecting the woods…in reality, they are the bear, the forest, the dirt, and the water…and I suggest you plant your trees now, before there’s another bare rumor. (Sorry, I can get carried away)
 
 In the forest, most of us are just bugs.
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Obama Lands in a Tailspin

Nobody's Perfect: Obama had some trouble with his plane today. It seems, the pilot was having trouble steering. Just a minor problem...caused by the fact that maybe someone had thought they should get off the plane right away because the evacuation slide blew itself up in the tail!

Okay, evacutation slides go off all the time in planes...(sure) So, why did Obama have to spend the whole day in St. Louis? AGAIN?

The real question is: Why did he leave in the first place? He was here on Saturday, making a speech in downtown St. Louis, for the African Methodist Episcopal Church. Unlike his upcoming convention speech in Colorado, where he plans to accept the nomination in front of a football stadium filled with 75,000 people, we have no idea how many people showed up to see Obama in St. Louis...

Not a word about it.

In fact, on Friday all the local news stations were trying to get the "non-black" people in St. Louis NOT to go downtown to the fireworks display..by suggesting all the lovely things happening outside the city...even though Obama has many "non-black" supporters here. What they didn't want to say is that it was a "black only" invitation.

I love it. Blacks can have thier own black church conventions. What if whites did that?

Whatever the reason, Obama was in St. Louis on Saturday. Sunday he was coming out of Chicago to go to North Carolina, (Is he paying his carbon-credits here?) and then had bag problems, and ended up spending the whole day back in St. Louis.

The good news is: Chertoff just happened to be in St. Louis at the same time. Obama landed at 10 am. and Chertoff left to see some floods scenes at 3.15. Took Chertoff long enough to look at our floods...just saying.

Many of us who know that NOBODY likes to stay over in St. Louis, and knowing that not too long ago, there was a plane accident here, where Mel Carnahan's plane went down and affected the whole Presidential elections, we are certainly glad--- that when we turned on our TV sets and there was Obama, telling North Carolina on the phone he would come sometime...

Now, we get to see politicians making phone conversations to other cities. I guess the local news was just too boring.

Whatever.

It's hard to get good plane evacuation slides these days, but Obama just can't think of everything now can he?

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Nobody's Absurdities, No. 59-American Needs Good Bubbles

I don’t know about you, but this whole weekend, was not only hot (and even more so to those poor souls in California) but it has seemed like some sort of time warp: so here in good time warp fashion, are a few thoughts, scattered to the wind like any good time warp thought should be: Actually, it might be more like a bubble warp.
 
 ********
Last night, while my husband slept, I crept up to a local hill to watch some fireworks that were going off across the Missouri, in another town. (Okay, I’m a real sucker for fireworks) There was another lone woman who parked next to me, so I, of course being the talker that I am, went over to her car and started up a conversation. Somewhere between talks about our kids, she told me she was a Democrat, and that the Electoral College should be gotten rid of. She didn’t think that “We the People” actually picked our president anymore. Well, she is right, but for the wrong reasons. I knew she was just repeating, like a parrot, what she had heard someone say on TV. This leads me to….
 
*******
Ralph Nader. Yes, it’s Sunday night and he’s on C-Span as I write this. He is running for president again and I just heard him say the very same thing that the woman in the parking lot said. The Electoral College should be gotten rid of. Ralph wanted to get rid of it because we are the only country in the world that still goes by the “antiquated” system. He’s so embarrassed.
 
You know, I can forgive the lady in the parking lot. She, like most Americans, has never been taught that the last thing on earth that has ever worked is a real democracy, where the majority rules. John Adams and our founders purposely set up a Republic; so even the lowliest state could have the same rights as the biggest…but people just don’t get it. Democracies lead to tyranny.
 
And yet, Ralph Nader, who prides himself on being so “smart” should know the injustice of a true “democratic” system. But he doesn’t, and I guess that puts him right up there with all the rest of the “do not have a clue” candidates.
 
*******
Today, I got in my local paper that I don’t even want or pay for…put out by the Post-Dispatch…the third edition of my weekly propaganda brainwashing palette, for getting used to eventually becoming a Mexico. On the front page was the title “Welcoming Nation?” The whole thing insinuates how ignorant the American citizens are for not welcoming the poor lonely immigrant from whatever country, who is just here to feed his poor family.
 
Well, heck. Why not just move the whole world here, and let the rest of us leave?
 
I even heard Jackie Mason (the Jewish comedian) say on a radio station the other night that anyone who dares dislike the Mexicans is prejudice. Well, Jackie, I hope Las Vegas, which according to the Drudge report is not doing too good, cancels your next appearance due to the fact that your influx of millions of Mexicans is affecting the national economy.
 
Some of us do not want to become a third world nation, just because Washington has decided that America and its people no longer matter anymore. It may be okay for you…you’re pretty old. But for the rest of us…let’s just say, I have a feeling if you keep putting down the average American, you might as well go retire, in fact, go take a trip to Cancun, you deserve it.
 
 Can you tell I’m mad? I’m getting sick of people putting down Americans. Keep it up.
 
********
And speaking of being mad, ----Ralph Nader says that Obama receives more money from big companies than John McCain. The democrats work for big companies too. The Post Dogpatch, and all the Democratic Party (and the Republican) ALL want the merger of Mexico. Come on, this is all about big government and big business, and okay…UNCLE! There, feel better?
 
*******
Alright. I’m in a disconsolate mood. We have been brainwashed for so long not to say what we think, and not to offend, but to repeat like good little children everything we are told, and shutup, and feel sorry for the world, and stop eating, driving our cars, and complaining, that I really don’t care anymore. I’m tired of feeling like I’m some rat in some experiment, and am being handed out my daily dose of brainwashing. So I’m ending this absurd rant early…because I like my readers too much.
 
 But I just have to get in one last scream.
 
Has anyone else noticed that they picked the 4th of July weekend to hold the G-8 meetings, so that none of us paid any attention to it? I can’t wait to hear what the global rulers have decided for mankind. If they want any more money out of us, they will have to close down the banks and take it.
 
Oh…I shouldn’t have said that. (Can you tell I’ve been watching Harry Potter movies instead of Fox?) 
 
I promise--if I get any worse, I’ll take a break. This page might go up in smoke sometimes soon.
 
I’m going to take a nice hot bath and relax, before they cut off my water intake. I am in desperate of good bubbles.
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Ms. International Missouri Meets Dopey!

Nobody Flashes: This was taken at the 4th of July parade downtown St. Louis, by me. The black car holds, I know, it's hard to see, but the sign says..."Ms. International Missouri."

What this means I have no idea. Does this mean Ms Missouri will do international? Does she go all over the world promoting all our floods? What?

If you have a Ms. Iowa International or Ms. Montana International in YOUR hometown parade, feel free to enlighten me.

At the end of the patriotic parade, we had whole carloads full of girls from various South American Countries. As you can see, the cars were not holding tomatoes!

Well, every other float was a car....lots of police cars. What can you expect, it's downtown St. Louis? It's good to know, Cuba is protected.
 
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Oh Say Can You See?

Nobody’s Opinion: I was watching the last Harry Potter movie the other night, “The Order of the Phoenix.” In the story, Harry Potter and all his friends had to meet in a secret room and practice on defending themselves against the evil they knew was coming, but the “ministry” refused to admit. And yes, the evil did come. (I’m a big fan of the Harry Potter stories.)
 
At the end of the movie, Harry Potter gives encouragement to his school friends: “We’ve got something that Voldemort doesn’t. We have something worth fighting for.” He could have been talking about Western Civilization.
 
What does this have to do with anything you say? By the time I post this, it will be my favorite holiday of the year. We are expecting rain here in St. Louis, but that’s nothing new. It almost always rains on the 4th of July, but by some miracles, clears up by nighttime.
 
For the last three years I have posted maudlin emotional rants on the 4th, but this year, instead of my words…I thought I’d put up the words of someone you might not expect. His name is Naguib Sawiris. He is an Egyptian multi-billionaire. He is Christian. He believes in God, and God guides him in all endeavors he says. He is the CEO of a telecom company called Orascom Group. And he is one of the most intelligent men I’ve ever heard talk.
 
It’s refreshing to hear a man with such candor, and integrity. He talks about world issues, and you could tell, he knew the world and all its problems very well. He looks at the world through right and wrong---simply---clearly.
 
He is hopeful for North Korea (he was going to start selling his cell phones there) but not hopeful about the Middle East. He had business in Iraq but got out because 12 people from his company were kidnapped. He supported Bush’s invasion of Iraq, but said rebuilding has been a failure. Taking away the police force was a big mistake, he said. And by the way…everyone over in the Middle East is just sick to death of the conflicts. He thinks all the religions need to talk more about religion, and get rid of the fanatics. All Jews, Christians, and Muslims, should deal with them.
 
 Anyway, I saw him on Charlie Rose earlier this week, and Charlie asked him: “What do you think of the United States?” I quote him word for word here:

Mr. Sawiris:
"It is the greatest country on Earth."

Mr. Rose:
You say that because?

Mr. Sawiris:
"Because it’s a country where there is a rule of law and order. Because it’s a country where a President cannot jail anybody. Because it’s a country if you change your religion, you don’t get lynched. Because it’s a country that fought always for the rights of others. When the Muslims were being slaughtered in Yugoslavia, they were the ones who moved, not the Islamic world. It’s a country that always stood up for what is right and against what is wrong. It’s a great country. It offered opportunities for everybody, every immigrant, and the world.
 
It’s a country that is extremely unbiased, and fair. There is no discrimination based on race. It’s a great country. The problem is, in our part of the world, is all of the good side of your country doesn’t get spread.
 
I was lucky. I can know exactly how people are here. They are charitable, they are helpful; they are kind, they are easygoing. They are less restrictive than the Europeans."
 
Now, if all CEO’s of our own American international companies felt like Mr. Sawiris, maybe America would be in better shape in the world. I’ve heard too many American CEO’s cut America down. It’s refreshing to listen to a man tell the truth.
 
An Egyptian.
 
Mr. Sawiris wants to get into China, because that’s where the growth market is. But the Chinese have been totally unfair to everyone, and the United States shouldn’t put up with it, according to him.
 
Mr. Sawiris reminded me that we have always been the best country in the world. Our Christian foundation has served us well and as he said…you can do anything when God is on your side.
 
Harry Potter reminded me that we certainly do have something worth fighting for. Inspirations from unexpected place…but great ones nevertheless.
 
 America---land of the free…home of all the brave. It’s time we started shouting it everywhere, and fighting for what it’s always stood for. There’s right, and there’s wrong---like Mr. Sawiris reflects, it’s pretty simple.
 
Oh say can you see…..?
 
Have a great holiday everyone!
Tags: Politics  
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Nobody Cares About Denmark

Nobody Cares: So, now that you have been told for five straight days that Denmark is the happiest place on the earth---do you want to move there?

Of course you do! Don't you want to be happy, you miserable Americans? Don't you want to be attacked by Muslim taxi-cab drivers?

Denmark--- Where the Nordic welfare state is in full glorious bloom, and the prostitutes in Copenhagen get free medical care...where very few people own real homes, but instead live in tiny apartments with not much in them.

Where Saturday Night Live got some of it's best comedy skits.

Where some of the best child porn is launched from innovative, creative web-sites!

Where a man drew a cartoon of a Muslim "father" and set millions of Muslims all over the world on the attack!

In Denmark, you will make a really decent salary, so that the government, who takes most of that salary, can continue to support the large number of bureaucrats that work inside tiny offices and crunch numbers, drink coffee, and talk about just how very happy they are.

They also have a huge base of unemployed people who never have to work, due to welfare, just like us! So why aren't we happier! Because we don't pay nearly as much taxes as they do, that's why!

Now---if you think that this "survey" which will continue to be placed on all national station breaks on radio and televisions for years to come---is not a "hint" (okay, it's propaganda) that the United States of America needs to soon, with Obama's help, become the second Denmark---then I suggest you go ahead and move there.

Because we are not the happiest nation in the world, so said the survey. There are sixteen nations ahead of us, and I suggest all our politicians pick one of those happy countries and move there! Go ahead, we'll even pay for it! It's the least we can do for all their hard service!

Go ahead---leave us...please...find yourself a nice blond in Denmark and get happy.

Somehow we'll manage.

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Obama is Patriotic? Nobody Knew!

Nobody Knows: Today, the usual mass confusion of mankind remains forever embedded in so many unanswerable mysteries, that someone should brand us forever…”The Duh Species.” Here are some obvious questions from this week that are on, I’m sure, lots of ‘duh’ minds who have more than a few questions of their own to add.

     Nobody knows
: Just exactly when Obama decided that he actually needed votes besides African-Americans so badly that he put a flag on his lapel and made a beeline for every American historical monument that he could think of --- in order to try to convince us all that he truly is proud to be an American, not a Muslim as his name suggests. The fact that millions of Muslims all over the world are jumping up and down and crying his name for joy with guns held high is not suppose to be noticed.

     Nobody Knows:
Who is writing Obama’s speeches? And just how many favorite Presidents can you name in one speech? In Independence he mentioned John Adams, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Harry Truman, and Mark Twain. Wait… Mark Twain was the President of Missouri. No matter. Obama’s on his way to Mt. Rushmore where he can find some more past Presidents to compare himself too.

     Nobody Knows:
If Obama really sat on his (white) grandfather's shoulders and watched astronauts: if his white grandmother really sat him on her knee and told him about the Declaration of Independence: if that e-mail he sent to that pretty blond white actress was just about “friendship:” or if he really was dogging bullets in Bosnia. Nobody knows if somewhere a black dress has been sent to the cleaners.
     Nobody Knows:
In all the local papers, there is a new fad going around, where black college-educated women are being encouraged to send in a sample of their DNA, only to find out their ancestors are NOT from Africa, but from the Polynesian islands! Even though it’s puts a real shock to their plans for further governmental educational grants, they can now claim a genetic relationship to Barack Obama. And since Obama is related to George W. Bush, DNA argues, if elected, there will be no change.

     Nobody Knows:
Why the press didn’t make a very big deal out of Obama’s glorious and well delivered patriotic speech yesterday? When he made the speech on “race” everyone claimed he was descended from the Divinci Code! Another question: Why did Obama decide not to wear the American flag pin AFTER we were attacked on 9/11, when just about everyone in the United States was flying one? The fact that he sees no problem keeping his name Obama Hussein, when he used to being called Barry, is a question we can’t figure out either.

     Nobody Knows:
Obama was making it clear he did not want to be questioned anymore about being a patriot. He said he would not question McCain’s patriotism, even though it’s fair game to let any one else he knows to go ahead and blast the man for sitting around for years just being tortured. Obama was helping the poor, which makes him more qualified to help Africa. As we are being reminded every day, Zimbabwe is very important.

     Nobody Knows:
Just where do they find all these retired generals whose constant motif is to attack the country they served, while being generously compensated with their inflation-proof pensions? They must get life-time gas fill-ups for their “testimonies.”

     Nobody Knows:
Why Madonna wants to move back to New York and have wild sex with New York Yankee, Alex Rodriguez. After all, he might be on steroids. It’s also unknown just when she will admit she is gay and marry Christie Brinkley.

     Nobody Knows:
Nobody can figure out just how all those thunderbolts managed to jump the Northern California border and light the whole state of Arizona on fire.

     Nobody Knows:
That China and United States really have a lot in common: neither country can find their own oil.

     Nobody Knows
: Why the United States went into Iraq, protected and developed the oil fields, help put a “democracy” in place, and now that democracy has decided to give the oil out to the highest bidder, which will not be the United States since we have no money left over from fighting the war.

     Nobody Knows:
Why we continue to go by the motto: “If you build it, they will take it over, and screw you.”

     Nobody Knows:
Why the only smart thing said this week came from the King Saudi’s lips. “If your people are suffering from high gas prices, reduce the taxes on gas. Don’t blame me.”
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Japanese Viagra

Nobody's Perfect: If you think this lady wanted everyone to see her exquisite taste in cotton underwear, think again.
 
This is the latest rage in Japan. The skirts are "painted" to look like you are seeing through the skirts, when you really aren't. In fact, what is really underneath that skirt could very well be a guy.
 
(Oh, San Francisco is already ordering!)
 
The Japanese might have finally found something original that America can copy! I can't wait to see thousands of teenagers here running around in fake see-through thongs, can you?
 
Personally, I think the Japanese government is behind this. What better way to boost the population. They need future robot makers, and fast.
 
Now, an American would have also designed fake see-through pants for the men---and also special skirts for the pregant man, and skirts that make fat people look thin. Come to think of it, that might work.
 
Now, they need to have shoes that give the illusion that your feet are smaller.
 
The only thing that is missing from this skirt are the words: "Made in Japan---insert here."
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Smashing the Statue of Liberty, Davos Style

Nobody’s Opinion: I was thinking about the only time I really won anything tonight. It happened when I was running through a K-Mart to get something quickly because I was late for work. There on a table at the entrance was a five-foot-tall Statue of Liberty made out of Legos. It was pretty cool. Even I had to stop running and admire.
 
According to the rules--you would be the winner of the contest if you could guess how many Lego’s were in the Statue of Liberty. I took my best educated guess, slip my paper into the slot, and ran out the door.
 
I was one Lego off. I don’t remember the exact winning number right now, something like 14,342. You can imagine my surprise when I got a call a week later saying that I won three sets of Legos, which was fine because my son was about eight. He spent hours upon hours destroying and rebuilding, destroying and rebuilding, destroying and rebuilding…
 
Bear with me here. My mind has been on this destroying and rebuilding theme for a while, but like a good trained “don’t you dare think that” gerbil, I, like many Americans have been refusing to admit what’s happening right before our eyes, because it’s way too insidious. I don’t want to sound like a stress puppy, but I simply don’t know how much longer we can refute the inevitable facts before us.
 
We are being downsized--- the real America is being exterminated, for a “reason.” A few more generations and it will be gone.
 
Don’t tell me all that all this global propaganda that we get hit with every day of our lives is not getting to you? You’d have to be complete “it will get better” denial to not notice it.
 
For instance, today, Comrade Post-Dispatch, has come out with a new special little section for their paper called, “Together We Will Rise Up.” It’s all about different “racial” issues and how we are all must love each other---as if we don’t now. Come together all you workers! I swear, this stuff is right out of the communist manifesto, and yet, because our schools have been so controlled there are only a handful of people that know what communism is. And it’s coming to us fast in a new word: Globalization.
 
America is being destroyed, in the name of globalization, purposely, in order to rebuild a “service” economy, designed by the powerbrokers of Davos, and Bilderberg. If you have never heard of these organizations, it’s because they prefer you not to. These people that attend these secret meetings now “brag” about their global plans. Oh, and they all love democracy.
 
Don’t you believe it.
 
While many of our great conservative leaders are starting to see this: I fear it will be too late before they wake up to the fact that there no longer is a republic run by Republicans and Democrats, but a truly entrenched--- New World Order.
 
President George W. Bush, John McCain, Obama, and the Clintons (who you notice NEVER talk about the Mexicans) are absolute proof that they don’t give a twit about whether the American people want to merge with Mexico. The treaty has been signed, the documents for all to see. They all know the plans, they all helped with them.
 
Did we get to vote on this? You can’t fix a problem if you never admit you have one.
 
Now, don’t get me wrong. Our founders made a hell of system, and it stills stands like a brilliant diamond if used in the right hands. There just aren’t too many of those hands left.
 
Think back…how many times did daddy Bush talk about the New World Order? Or Bill Clinton? Or the many English Prime Ministers? They weren’t just filling up speeches here folks, they were telling you something. Wake up. These people have big Lego plans.
 
First, destroy the America’s infrastructure and its middle class by merging the banks, creating vast monopolies, getting control of the great food basket of Middle America, the transportation, and monitoring us all like sheep.
 
We have just been told that over 1,000 fires were started in California in two days all by lighting? Do you buy that? Also, most of the Midwest has been drowned this spring by over 27 levees all breaking like a well planned demolition. They even tell you when it’s going to “flood” like clockwork, and at what time. The whole state of Iowa, including all the crops, was flooded with more rain that has ever been recorded. Do you really think this is global warming?
 
You know, realistically speaking, they do have the technology to seed the clouds, to produce floods, to even control a Hurricane. What an easy way to gain control of the one of the greatest bread baskets of the world. The government can’t buy up those farms fast enough.
 
Why did Bush insist on ethanol, which caused our food prices to explode? Is he that stupid? Or is he that smart? The man who warned us that we should let Dubai buy our ports?
 
Oh, he can say clever stuff now---why not? Was he running around for eight years saying “We must drill!” No, he mentioned it, what…once, twice? Gee, a little more effort would have been nice.
 
Listen: Alan Greenspan, according to Matt Whitmore of Newsmax, once complained that it was a big job to deal with over 22,000 banks. This was in 1987. Within a decade the small town bank disappeared. Now we have only about 15 super banks….how nice. In fact, in all business, just during the last few decades, the big guys have gobbled up all the little guys. Who are these guys that sit on this Federal Reserve and suck us dry? Do you know their names?
 
Well, I don’t.
 
But I have an American Dream. I’d like to build perfect little model Lego’s of all those Gods of Davos who want to destroy America. I’d put them on display, in the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, hold a contest for someone to guess how many Legos are in the display, and the winner would get to smash them, right under the Statue of Liberty.
 
And I would stand around, just in case the winner needed some help.
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