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Al Gore's Big Fish Story

Nobody Knows: Next time you listen to Al Gore say that the planet as we know it is dying, and all the fish in the sea will be gone within our lifetime...

Remember these guys.

Especially the one on the right whose smile says it all...as if he is thinking, "Al Gore, get a life."

Global warming, I would say, has been very good to this...monster.
Gas money to favorite fishing hole--$300
New fishing poles--$500
Beer and sandwiches---$100 
Making your buddy hold the heavy end of the 1,000 pound catfish while you hold the tail, and then post the picture on the internet for the world to see---priceless.
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Nobody's Absurdities, No. 60-Talkin' Loud and Sayin' Nothin'

Greed---that seems to be the subject on everyone’s mind right now. After watching Secretary Paulson on every channel last weekend with his puppy-dog look of, “I’m sorry, but things are bad right now folks--- not our fault,” I was thinking about that old James Brown song…
 
    “You can’t tell me, how to run my life down. 
      And you can't tell me, how to keep my business sound
      And you can’t tell me, what I’m doing wrong 
      When you keep jivin’ and singing that--- same old funny song 
      Like a dull knife, Jack--- you just ain’t cuttin’ (do do do dod da do) 
      You just talking loud---and saying nothin’ 
                                                                                       Just sayin’ nothin’(do do do do) just sayin’ nothin”
 
Hit me! Ah….Oh!”
 
Sorry, I really love that song. And it’s so true. All our politicians are just talking loud, and saying absolutely nothing. The record is stuck. Most of us are ready to smack the needle hard. (Okay, some of you don’t remember record players.)
 
Let me refrain that. What we need is a real James Brown smackdown. “Hit me!" (do do do do do)

      “Clean up your bag…don’t worry bout mine.
         My bag’s together, and doing fine.”
 
James was right here. Most Americans go to work, manage somehow to pay their bills, raise their kids, go to church…and we don’t complain. They don’t really let us.
 
But if you or I ran into trouble---if we ripped people off like the recent scandals of Fannie Mae, or Freddie the Mac---we’d be in jail.
 
Talk about greed. We have no shortage of “greedy, greedy” men (and women) ruling this country right now. Machiavelli wouldn’t have made it out of Guantanamo.
 
Take Obama for instance. Does he have to go around the world at our expense at the moment…taking along half the state of Vermont?
 
 I remember recently reading that the first thing they teach you in journalism is to answer the questions: What? Where? How? When? and who done it?….(just kidding)
 
Far more importantly, the very first question should be in any story is: Where does the money go? (follow it.) Second question :Who is going to benefit from ‘whatever?’

Start
with greed. And there’s nothing wrong with greed itself, Adam Smith pointed that out long ago---it’s the crime of hurting others with your out-of-control cravings.
 
For instance: Who benefits from the news that Hillary Clinton owes $25 million dollars? She could have kept this news to herself, quite frankly, but she wants us to pay it.
 
And right on top of the greed absurdities list is the Pope. It was certainly cheery news that the Pope got such a big turnout for his World Youth Day in Australia. But is it not the very height of hypocrisy for the Pope to be lecturing young adults, most of whom probably don’t even have a bank account, that they should shed greed and spurn materialism? This from a man who lives in the biggest house in the world, filled with so much gold and rare treasures, paintings, books, and sculptures worth enough to probably feed the globe for an entire century if sold?
 
 So, why isn’t he preaching to world politicians instead of to young kids whose future already looks very bleak, monetarily speaking?
 
      “Like a dull knife jack, you just ain’t cuttin”
 
Greed is the reason why only a few miles from me, just recently, it was reported in our local paper, that radioactive uranium from the Manhattan Project was dumped right after the war. So, how long has it maybe been contaminating our groundwater? The citizens want it moved immediately, but the EPA says it’s just cheaper to put a cap on it. Meanwhile, my father died at 63 of a cancerous brain tumor. My best friend from high school, died at 43 of a brain tumor, even one of my dogs died at three of a cancerous brain tumor.

               “I’m a greedy man.”
(do do do do)
 
 The other day I was reading about how Prince Charles, was so “green” that he pays (i.e. the British working class pays) for a special fuel grown from very expensive grapes to run his Aston Martin.
 
And Al Gore graciously gives us just ten years, to put solar panels in all homes, and get off oil altogether. When asked how are we going to afford this? He admitted we needed over 5 trillion just to get started, but after the initial startup, the prices should go down.
 
Just like the gas prices there, Al? (do do do do )

      “Like a dull knife Jack, you just ain’t cutting… 
      You just talking loud, and sayin’ nothin’  just sayin’ nothin’…just sayin’ nothin’…”
 

"Somebody--- hit me. Ow!"
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